my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
