So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
