So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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