My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
