I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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