I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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