is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
