so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We had sex on a dog bed..
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
