beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
