He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
