wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize