What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
