everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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