I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
