that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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