there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
