I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
