and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
