So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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