My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Boobs speak an international language.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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