Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
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his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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