she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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