Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
