i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
