My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
