Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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