i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You made out with two different species that night
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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