question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
