so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
