So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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