My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
