dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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