dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
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If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
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whose parrot is this?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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