He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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