In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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