I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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