I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
