i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
