I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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