so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
