i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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