Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
