If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
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i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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