You're my little dorito
I wannas sexs uuuuu
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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