(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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