my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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