last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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