ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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