I forgot how hot balto sounded
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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