I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
