I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
jump out the window naked night went bad
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
