Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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