Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
