just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
