If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
