i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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